Same Same but Different::

Something I wrote a few months ago.. Thought I could share it here..

For as long as I can remember I've wanted to be an explorer. A world traveler. A nomad, persay.

Parents always ask their children, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" And the normal response from a six year old is usually along the lines of veternarian, doctor, writer, etc. There are not many young kids who would say, "I just want to see the world." Well, you've found her, and that's exactly what I did.

Graduating college at 23, I still had the same aspiration to see the world as I did when I was six. So I saved up money and put myself on a plane. The destination is not exactly the most important, but it's what happened along the journey that makes the difference. I found myself drinking beer "Down Under" with the Ausi's and teaching English to orphans in Cambodia, and everything in between is a blur. Something unexpected happened along this two year journey, something that I find hard to put into words.

I've always known myself to be a girl with big dreams but somewhat lost and confused about life and the world in general. But something happened to me during my travels, especially my first adventure in a third world country. I found my heart. Looking back I can honestly say that I did not know that it was happening until it was over. I will never forget the day I stepped off the plane in the capital city of Cambodia, Phenom Penh, and felt like I had time traveled to another planet. Immediately, I noticed the juxtaposition between beauty and suffering. Everything around me was so different than my home, yet I had a certain connection with the people. Because they were people, just like me, with smiles as big as the moon and laughter that could fill a room in a second. They were petite in size but bursting with life. I suppose someone else stepping in to the same environment could look at their world and see the suffering, the corruption and the poverty. That is what anyone could see very easily, but the emotion of it all, the heart, the humanity, makes it just another beautiful place in this beautiful world.

Without any clue of what was going on I was escorted off the airport grounds only to find myself looking down a row a police guards with AK-47's hanging at their sides and cigarettes up at their mouths. A person's first reaction to this is fear. And that is exactly what I felt for a split second. Then I remembered a small piece of advice a friend had given me years before on my first visit to Australia. He said "When you are somewhere else, experiencing someone else's culture and in someone else's homeland, you must remember that it's not weird, it's just different."

It's not weird, it's just different. This is what I was supposed to be thinking? Before I had to time to react in any way one of the guards was at the side of the road flagging down a biker. A small man on a moped came over, took my heavy rucksack off my back and threw it onto his bike. Turning around he led me by the shoulders to the back of the bike, I hopped on and we were off! Driving through the city to the bus station was a life changing experience in itself. Everything is different! The poverty, dirt and smog are everywhere. But so are laughing faces, businesses and LIFE.

I spent the next two weeks in the Lighthouse Orphanage with the most wonderful group of children I have ever met in my life. Each one of them was a gem, an angel sent to show me the beauty of this world. They spoke English quite well but we spent everyday going over vocabulary and grammar. They were eager to learn, eager to play and eager to live. I'll never forget the day we left and each one of them had hand drawn me a picture signed with their names. I still keep those drawings as an inspiration to do good things in my life.

To serve humanity. To make this world a better place. To benefit the lives of others through education and love.

I've always said that there is a certain disconnect between seeing this kind of suffering on television, or reading about it in the newspaper and actually seeing it first hand. I truly believe that if everyone in the first world saw the poverty, suffering AND the hope and inspiration in the third world with their own eyes, this world would be a different place. There is no way to ignore how people live, or barely survive. We are all the same and my adventures overseas have taught me this. Everyone deserves a basic education. That way, we can start building the world from the ground up. Get down and dirty and beat poverty! Educate people and provide the basic resources to help their own communities. Together, we can make this world a better place! It is easier than we think and everyone deserves a chance.

I've Got Love for the World: I've got Love for You.

Drawing Triangles. I used to draw triangles as symbol of growth and life. I used to want it tattooed somewhere on my body as an image of constant change that no one could take away from me. Drawing triangles. Someone once called it (and thank you for that). Change.

The symbol for change in math is represented by a triangle. Once you open your being to challenges and the ever-moving world around you, everything becomes more clear. Let the flow of life feed your soul. The vision of change is laying at your doorstep. This vision, or idea, is not sought after by most, but only the brave who dare to enter into the seemingly unknown. Change is often feared, on a personal level all the way up to a worldly level. Change is not understood. Which I find to be a juxtaposition of life itself. Life IS ever-changing, a constant movement, a learning experience. The beauty is in THAT breakdown people.

Some people say they don't like change, they need everything to be the same, they get used to their old habits and ways. This is a stale way of life. This is hiding from something bigger and BETTER than YOU. This is not allowing growth when the fear is involved. If you do not allow Change in your life, you are sorely missing out on an eye-opening, mindfulness, beautiful way of life. We are creatures of CHANGE. And not just the Change Obama preaches about... RAW CHANGE DOWN TO YOUR CORE. A constant search for a wealth of happiness, something you can feel in your bones. We've all felt it, why not seek to have it all of the time? This happiness will always be changing so as humans, we have to adapt to this and constantly learn to change and better ourselves to stay in stride with this happiness. After all, what is life without pure Joy? Bliss? Happiness? It is something you can feel in your bones when a loved one looks at you, a few chords are strung together on a guitar, or when a child innocently laughs....

People say they can't make a difference. That world is too big and they are too small.

This, is my opinion, is an inadequate view of a situation kicking and screaming for Change. I always take a lot of shit (pardon me, mother) for being the way that I am. Most of my best friends know this. Most of them also know how much I don't care. Because I know that everyday is a gift, every moment is a blessing and I was lucky enough to be born into this world KNOWING that I will Change it for the better. The fear of being different gives way to the courage to make positive change in this world. It takes a strong will and it is no easy task. I sometimes sit and wonder why I have been so blessed with this burden. Or, I used to wonder this.

Everything in my life, down to my core, has changed in the last three weeks, and I no longer look at my soul mission on this earth as a burden. Not that "saving the world" was a burden before, but it is a huge task, one almost incomprehensible for a little girl who felt lost with every waking moment. What to do, what was I being called to do? What was this mass of energy lumped inside me waiting to burst? I now know it as something we humans like to label as Pure love. Love in the form of service. A service to humanity, SERVICE ABOVE SELF. Making positive change with every thought or action. Bettering the human life, one that is not your own.

With this change, I have felt lighter, coming into a state of being I never knew possible. Floating. And UNDERSTANDING all that needs to be understood without speaking. All of the sudden it was there. I had accepted change into my life, a constant flow of energy, and out of it I got more than I could have ever asked for. A clear vision.

I still have the manic states of mind I used to (Don't worry Mase, they're still in there!) but the UNDERSTANDING is key. That is the part of the equation that was missing before. Change comes in the funniest of ways, and it is ALWAYS a good thing to keep at your side. Always growing into the person you want to be, and beyond. Change will allow your love for EVERYTHING to grow. Everything will become clearer, the purpose of life will unfold before you. We impact each other more than we could ever know, I want to make sure that that stays positive. WE can help, WE can make a difference, WE can touch the lives of people who need it most in this world, WE can: Save. the. World. From a clouded vision and a stale way of life.

I Draw Triangles all day...

Great Change

Even my own Existence looks different as of late.

Rapid change. Mass growth.

Wow wee... More on this later...

In the beginning...

So here I am. Blogging. Something I thought I would never do. And yet, something inside me is telling me that I need to translate all this mental energy, these thoughts, these discussions within myself, into something more.

Since Christmas two years ago I have never gone anywhere without the black Moleskine journal my brother gave to me. Well, since then there have been a few due to the frantic pace of my writing... but when he gave it to me, Eric told me it was to be used for personal expression. For thoughts and actions and words and sketches that illustrated the things in my head. I would always see him with his, and for all of you who know my brother, you've even seen him take it out in the middle of a bar or party at 2am and start scribbling. Little did I know that this black journal of mine would become an obsession, almost an addiction. I must say though, if one is going to allow themselves an addiction, a journal is a pretty good one to have!

I wrote in it constantly. Often times forgetting the reality around me. One day I aspire to make something more of it. Write a book and share these thoughts with the world. We'll save that for another day. But there is a lot of growth potential when you stop being the things you've gotten wrapped up in and start being You.

These journals made me a better person and started me down a path I could have never dreamed I would be destined for.
The mind is a beautiful thing. A powerful thing. So here, this is my blog, this is my feeble attempt to let all of you (or no one and I guess that really doesn't matter either!) know what goes on in my head.

So jump for joy, get comfortable, drop the barriers and let the discussion begin!