a serendipitous approach to life.

everything is perfect through it's inability to be... perfect.

a few months back i met two people on a plane. on this day, i will say without shame, i was feeling particularly down and sorry for myself. you see, the problem with being so observant in my own head is, i know when i am feeling sorry for myself and sometimes i let myself be aware of the emotion instead of changing it. so... on this day, while feeling sorry for myself, i was anxious to get to los angeles where my brother was waiting for me. little did i know that it would take me two more planes, a bus, one hellishly long customer service line, a tiff with a fat man (i'm sorry but that is just my way of getting back at him for being mean to me in the wee hours of the morning) and a short cap nap in a lonely hotel room in san francisco to actually get to him- just in time to "make it to the church on time" for a dear friend's wedding. if i would not have met these two people, i would have thought this was the worst journey ever (this is what happens when people start the terrible habit of feeling sorry for themselves, which always snowballs into, "my life sucks"). although i was tired and running out of patience, i had so much to contemplate. where did these two people come from and why were they sitting next me? it was awesome!

....However, in my extreme efforts to sit by the window and be as antisocial as humanly possible, i forgot one thing- my inability to be antisocial... so without cause, i (or they, i don't really remember) strike up a conversation thus turning into one inspiring hour long wait on the tarmack and two hour flight to SFO. bill and sarah, as it turns out, were having some issues with happiness in their day-to-day lives. bill working too much and hating his job, sarah loving hers but could leave it any moment for something more inspiring and upset with bill's dislike for his work, which was turning into his dislike for a lot of things. six hours prior to our meeting, sarah was fed up and said, "fine, if you could go anywhere you wanted, right now, go to the airport and get on a plane, where would you go?" bill's reply, "new zealand" .......Ahhhhhhh, and there my friends is the connection, the serendipity i find in this first meeting with two very inspiring souls (he tells me later he doesn't even really know why he said it but has always wanted to go to NZ and australia). "New Zealand?" I say... "crazy, i lived there for nearly a year, and before that australia" (insert 'holy shit' moment here'). so we start talking about life and passion and truth and wander. this turns in to conversations about true happiness and meaning, a service bigger than the self. we talk the entire plane ride and as i am leaving the plane (to find out the obvious; i've missed my connecting flight because of the delay) they are wishing me well with all my life's adventures and giving me their contact information, telling me that i have inspired them to get out there and follow their dreams, to make a difference by making a difference in their own lives!

i leave feeling refreshed. inspired. i leave with a profound sense of meaning. that i am doing the right thing. these two people have no idea who i am but they have encouraged me to follow my dream as i am trying to do. they have instilled in me a sense that i am doing it right. i am living my life the way i believe. the way i want to live it.

we will all do this differently. this living thing. but we must all do it WELL. and we must not judge the way others decide to do it, we can only hope that everyone is doing it the way they want to be doing it. living it truthfully. listening to the way their own heart speaks to them. it cannot be done any other way.

good discoveries always seem to happen by accident. it was a crazy random meeting with two people who i had seemingly no connection to. two people who end up being more like-minded to me than some of my friends. they were there as a reassurance that everything was and is happening for a reason, on a true path, just when it is supposed to be happening.
i am doing my own 'right way.' no matter how imperfect it may seem to others.

simplicity needs no title

follow your bliss

chase your dreams

you can be anything you want to be
know that you can have anything in this world you strive for, if you're willing to work hard enough for it

always support the people you believe in
because it always feels nice to know that someone supports you

believe in love

it's okay to love.
when love comes from a pure heart, nothing can be wronged by it

spread your love and gratitude, even if you don't get recognition for it.
it shouldn't be about the recognition anyway.

think kindly, always
trust that everyone you come across was sent to you for a reason
many different soul mates exist in this world. if not for one thing, they're for another.

learn to laugh alone.

love to the depths of you soul
and recognize that nobody is perfect

be you
let others be them.

have faith in the madness
revel in this miracle.

<3

ahhhh....

amen, brothers & sisters. amen.

let greatness prevail!

there are going to be hard times.
there are always going to be hard times.
we always seem to think, "oh, when this over, my life will be great" or, "if this happens then this other thing will be great, i will be so happy...." the grass is always greener and mr. jones always has a little bit more than us.
but maybe that's what "the jones'" are there for... something to strive after, someone to set the bar a little higher so we as individuals challenge ourselves to be great[er].

i am not meaning to sound pessimistic in any way. in fact, just the opposite.
maybe mr. jones is our own inner self refusing to settle for 'good.'

in hard times is CHALLENGE and in challenge we have the ability to choose GREATNESS.

i am happy and i am loving life. to love life is a choice. an active state of mind. and a lot of times the easier choice is to not love what's going on in and around our own lives. but one must stay positive and know that everything happens for a reason and even in hard times, there are wonderful things to appreciate, love and be a part of. this is the make up of what we call life. it's all over the place, it's good, it's "bad," it's confusing, it is joyous. there is no other word to describe it but; beautiful.

the odds are always against you, you may not always win.
so therefore, you must fight.
you must rise to the challenge.

You must DO whatever it is that you want to be doing.
being sad or miserable or hopeless is easy to do so you must fight the urge to get into this slump.
train your mind to be strong. keep working at this. it's an ongoing, ever-developing process.
happiness is not found with the switch of a button. it is a total and complete shift of mind and experience. it is a readiness, an openness, an understanding of a truer, greater way of life. a more pure and honest existence.

Become who you want to become. this is also, always, an ongoing process.
the greatest and worst did not become the greatest and the worst in a instant. one must always work at being great and one must always work at being wicked. the bad and good alike don't just appear, they are carefully cultivated in this ongoing process of becoming the person you want to become.
greatness must always prevail.
honesty must always have the right hand and love must always have the left.
One's thoughts, mind and heart should always point in the direction of "up."
GROW. LEARN. Learn what it is you need to become great.
Take charge of your life, don't let the worry and the hurt get you down.

You need love.
You need hope.

The only person that can pull you up is YOU.

Believe in yourself, and your abilities to accomplish anything you want.
You are great, you will be great and someone will recognize this greatness.
You will make use of the ideas in your head and the love in your heart.
but you must remember that these ideas and this love are a direct result of the awareness of this greatness. it is not of any use if it is not believed in, cultivated and mastered.

what you are supposed to be doing will be realized because you are a child of this Earth and there is a plan.
Nothing can take that away from you, but you must have continued faith in your own success.

Keep your faith in Faith and Truth, in Mankind and Mother nature.
Keep the faith in yourself and know that you are here for a reason.

You will find what it is you seek.

meditation of light

quiet your mind.
settle your heart.
feel.
and just know.


meditation for your creative desire.
let your apple juice settle for just a second and you will see a profound effect in every aspect of your life.*
everything is a manifestation of your light.
light reflecting on light. you will create your world.
sit, and think of this.
see the light. contemplate the light. appreciate the light.
sit.
relax.
do nothing.
once you learn to do this you will transcend all negative feeling.

live & love now.
be here now.
your circumstances are as they are. what they are now.

the first thing you should do in the morning when you wake is... smile.
the second: say thank you.



*(there is this story told by one of the greatest teachers on earth about how meditation is similar to 'settling apple juice.' Thich Nhat Hanh writes in his book The Sun My Heart about a time when Thuy, a little girl he is caring for, refuses to drink her apple juice because it is so cloudy. So she goes back outside to play with the other children and when she comes back in she is ever so thirsty. Thich Nhat Hanh reminds her of her wonderful, fresh squeezed apple juice and points to the glass. Thuy goes over and drinks the juice without hesitation. She asks her caretaker if it is a different glass and he explains, "no, it is not but it has sat quietly for a bit and now it's clear and delicious." Thuy responds with the question, "was it meditating like you uncle monk?")

For his actual story please refer to chapter one: sunshine and green leaves in Thich Naht Hanh's The Sun My Heart. I encourage everyone to read any and all of Thich Nhat Hanh's of publications. beautiful.

television will kill your soul. (whoa, harsh.)

i feel like i have so many ideas swimming around in my head but when i sit down to write, nothing comes out. there is too much. i cannot focus. i cannot form any actual outline or thoughtful topic. no one single discussion comes to mind because

i feel lost.

it's funny that my original blogpost was about inspiration, purpose and the confusion that these ideas or feelings can create.... instead this is what came out....

i am not going to watch television for one month. (this is random). but i have just decided. it is a complete waste of my time and for many years i did not even own a television. in fact, not having it as a lazy distraction was the best thing that ever happened to me! i remember the last time i caved and bought a $17, 12 inch tv while i was living in australia, and the only reason i bought it was because a good, old friend of mine was playing in the olympics and it was a must that i cheer her on! then, for months, it sat in the corner, unplugged, collecting dust. i actively did not turn it on.

you see, there is this idea of "complex fun" that i can really relate to. it is the idea of doing things that you love to entertain yourself during your down time but not having these things be mindless entertainment (such as tv). complex fun, for me, would be drawing, writing, arts and crafting, reading, running, creating, etc.. these things will be more fulfilling and inspiring in the long run. they will trigger happier feelings.

tv is only a way to turn your brain off, it is easy to shut down while not having to think about anything! the brain is not actively LEARNING or CREATING. WE are not actively GROWING. and think about this: how many times have we seen something beautiful or remote in nature and said, "that looks fake! it looks like something you would see in a movie" or "that looks like a picture!" ..... it is frightening that we automatically think about the replica of something, the copy of the real thing, the portrayal of something beautiful on film, not in real life.

i don't really watch that much television in the first place but now i will watch none. hopefully this experience will lend itself a creative hand in some projects i've been wanting to start for a while. procrastination will be your worst enemy in this game called life.

so, i am going to stop watchin' the tube. :) it's like lent, but not.

it's all love everywhere, baby::

I write to write.
I write to Right.
[in a manic state it just comes out. who knows what i mean by all this.]

Sometimes you just... sometimes you just... are your thoughts.


Powerful, explosive good energy.
The manifestation of all things good and true.
Of purity and kindness in the heart for the heart's of others.

The windfall.
The downfall.
The light of darkness.

And then;
The acension.
The rise.
We will all rise again.
Here and there.
Far and beyond what we know to be true.

But let's talk about our reality now.
This. is. it.
(Do you ever get tired of me repeating that one? Geeeezzz...)
But it is.
And we are here and it is damn fine.

But the beauty of this existence is that it all comes from within.
The relflection of life from life. Life on life.
Let your light manifest the world outside of you.
Everything you see, do, feel, touch.
Everything you are, will be, want to be.
Every doubt and dark day, every elated moment.
Every supression of the bad and rise of the good.
It is all a MANIFESTATION that has simply come from : You.

So yes, this is it. But really, YOU are it.
don't sit around and wait for things to happen to you..
Manifest your dreams and destiny!
MANIFESTATION PEOPLE!

::Get up and learn what there is to know so that it can be taught and you can teach it later::
we are all teachers here.
there would not be the connectivity at such high vibrational rates if we were not meant to be here for each other.
to Teach. to Help. and to always Learn.

Let the love in.
Courageous hearts are the only ones that ever get anywhere.
They are the only ones that truly feel what the love of the world feels like.
How would it feel to never feel that only because you were scared of it?

embrace Change.
always listen to where there is positive light.

I have been experiencing an extreme lack of creative force in my recent weeks. and I have decided, just right now, that that is going to change by force and positive manifestation. A person can find inspiration in many different mediums, some that can be seen, some that can only be felt, and others that are simply a spark in the mind of some sort.

inspiration is endless.
creation, powerful.

Creation comes from love. When one does not have the power to love, one cannot feel creative. This "love" can come in many many many different forms but... When one is stripped of something or someone, in love, life and death, something happens to the creative powers vested in the soul. Others would argue that the lack of love and light is the driving force of creative power. And I could agree with that, too. But you see, that still comes from love because it has spawned from the lack of love. Yeah? Yeah.

And it's all love everywhere, baby.