You just be you. I'm okay with that.

We spend so much of our time trying to change others. 

Even if we notice it or not... or like to admit it (and yes, wishing and hoping that someone will change to better fit 'our version of their best self' counts as well!).

I think it really begins… and ends… with the desire to change parts of ourselves. 

What we see outside is a direct reflection of who we are and how we feel inside. When we are not happy inside, we see a whole lot of 'wrong' in others that we try to change to make our inside feel happier. We will never reach contentment this way. Contentment always comes from within. And without it, qualities (bad or good) we notice in others will tend to have a much greater impact on us. 

When we become content with who we are, the external desire to change those around us subsides and we are able to accept and love them for exactly who they are. 

Becoming content with ourselves allows us to ground in to who we are, consequently, becoming less concerned with who others are (or who they are not). 

When we are not centered, when we self-loathe, question or critique ourselves to no end, we cannot live in harmony within. Our world is, and always will be, a reflection of our own hearts. We experience the outer by way of how the inner is feeling and what we are choosing to see and experience. The world can be shitty, but only if we decide to look at it that way.

"Those who truly love us will never knowingly ask us to be other than we are." -Marc Nepo

When I first came across this quote, it sat on my heart a little awkwardly. I didn't know why at the time but months later, when I had been stripped down of much of my pride, I realized it's awkward perch was because I knew that I was guilty of trying to change loved ones, whether I able to see and admit it or not. And I certainly didn't like admitting it! I had been doing the opposite of truly loving those I… loved. Whoa. 

Maybe this meant, for certain people, I didn't truly love them in the way I was expressing. I was trying to the best of my conscious ability, but I hadn't let myself think that I was loving them in the wrong way. This quote made me feel uneasy, it was allowing those thoughts to wrestle with my heart- maybe I had to love certain people in different ways in order to truly love them well? 

It worked. It was hard to admit, and hard to do but it worked. 

There was another reason Nepo's resonated with me. And after admitting to and forgiving myself of the faults of loving wrong and hoping for change, I knew I had written this quote down and pinned it on my wall months earlier for reasons I could not fully understand at the time. 

It was how I was supposed to be living. It was achievable. And it was right. 

It is what my heart would soon strive for- to simply love. Only love. Let people be free of my judgement, conscious or subconscious, and just love the shit out of them! 

Through an immensely difficult and simultaneously beautiful growth period in my life, I was able to shed so many unwanted layers of pain, confusion, self-loathing and questioning. During this time, I connected with the true matter of all heart and soul- joy. My very own joy. I was able to let go of unnecessary weight, and let in an insane amount of joy, laughter, forgiveness, understanding and purpose. 

Truthfully, all of these feelings had always been there- but somewhere along the way they had been masked by a lot of the more pressing, negative feelings. 

I found that, in this time of growth, I was able to really, truly understand the meaning of Nepo's quote. I was able to understand that not only would I never be successful at changing another human being to better suit me, but that it would be absurd for me to even want to! 

To accept is to love. To understand is to love. To love is to love. 

And we can all do it. 

People aren't always, or ever, going to be exactly the way we want them to be. But, who cares? Do you think you're exactly who others want or 'need' you to be? Chances are, unless you're Jesus, the answer is no (and some would argue that he's not even who they need him to be).

But you know what I say about all that? It's pretty darn beautiful! 

When we make up our minds to look at the world with infinite positivity, things become lighter. Happier. Easier. Understandable. Good. Human. Beautiful. Joyful. Infinite positivity gives us a way to look at people free of judgement or hate. And understanding that we cannot change them, will free our own hearts from a lot of struggle. 

Imagine what the world would be like if we stopped trying to mold people into 'who we think they should be' and started simply loving them for who they are, today, standing in front of us, with all their flaws and weirdness right out there on the table? 

Now, That's the kind of world I'd like to live in.