be you :: you are enough

there is no time to be someone other than who you are. 

[recently, i have been super good at presenting cliches, but as you see here, they're 
totally true and worth throwing around at any possible moment. YOLO.]

a lot of searching has gone on throughout my years. a lot of less-informed, more aimless (but essential) soul-searching. an almost insatiable thirst to understand my place and heart in the world around me. to know my purpose, to become great, to do the thing that i am supposed to do.
this searching has been messy on occasion, selfish on others... stupidly fun a lot of the time, and absolutely heartbreaking at other times.
life, lived at extremes- seems to be something i'm rather good at.

and now, the searching shall continue, ever forth.
each day i breathe the air on this earth, it will shall continue.
but certainly, it has changed.

it has become a deeper search, more on matters of the true spirit and my relationship to our God and to the energies and people's of this life and Universe. a complete desire to understand and sit in joy in my own life contently and truthfully. to just be me.

there is no longer a certain fear; a fear we seem to fight growing up. a fear of not fitting in, a fear of being misunderstood, a fear of not being liked, a fear of not being loved (the latter of the fears i think carries on with us, especially in to adulthood as we forge confusing waters and paddle blindly and horribly into "dating" and falling in and out of love...).

in some ways i suppose, these types of fears are destined to creep back in and tug at the spirit at times, misguiding the heart into a territory of confusion and loneliness. but if we are able to recognize and understand where these fears are coming from, a false place, they will only perch on the heart for a short time. as we get older and understand our true selves more, there is an underlying understanding that we are enough and that we can approve of ourselves and need not worry about the approval of others....
it is also possible that i just don't give a hoot anymore if anyone understands me or not. 

 because some people won't, and don't. and i am okay with that. they don't have to.

i'm weird as shit and super happy about it.

there are going to be people who love the fact that i am the way i am. 

those champions have become my biggest secret to my mojo... they help me understand that the fears that try to break me come from a false place, a place that our culture has created, a place that need not exist but is unfortunately growing fiercely. 

my weirdness, my strength and my champions remind me that:

i am enough.

and so are you. 

all things happen, as they should and when they will.

we become 'us' more and more each day, if we allow ourselves to engage in the process of searching, dreaming, doing, seeking and asking.

there is nothing we need do except love. 

to give our love away. 

to find useful, productive and powerful ways to give our love away each day. 

to show affection, kindness and genuine heart to those we care about and to all those around us.

i sometimes do not demonstrate this well. no one does. we are not perfect.

in fact, sometimes i think an antonym for 'perfect' is 'human.'

but that's kind of beautiful, right? 

because not being perfect leads way for grace. and grace is a blessing to bestow and have bestowed upon us. 

i have grown in crazy ways, i'm sure we all have. my life looks very, very different than it did 10 years ago. five years ago. even eight months ago.
i am falling in to my own existence and sitting comfortably with my own soul. or at least getting closer and feeling, for quite possibly the first time, absolute true joy.

wouldn't it be nice if we could all just learn to be ourselves? to give hugs when we wanted to? to show appreciation and affection with out feeling self-concious of others' thoughts or reactions? to not worry about judgements? to stop playing games? to talk with our true hearts? 

surround yourself with humans who understand and love you for who you are. humans that make you want to be a better one.

humans who are always growing and always learning.

these are the type of people who will help your spirit overcome unnecessary life fears. these are the ones who will encourage you to dream bigger and do things to accomplish dreamed dreams. these are the ones who will sit contently in joy with your weirdness and be totally okay with it.

why be someone else if you can just... be you? 

[this post may have been prompted by a particularly trying time in my life of being 'misunderstood' 

and/or made fun of for being me. but whatevs, haters gonna hate.]

learn, love and grow.
you are enough.